Monday, May 17, 2010

transitioning (again?)

It almost seems silly to say that I'm going through another transition~ it's sort of what I do. But I think this one is different...

Well, I DO.

It came out of that special brand of clarity that comes out of crisis, and I think there's something to it. Without getting too involved, I'll just say that a relationship came to a close and the current source of my salary was never meant to last forever. (And time really does pass quickly.) Once again, I had to decide: What Next?

I did some hemming. I did some hawing. I cried. I grumped. I created scenarios (including some really ridiculous ones) inside my head. And it all crystallized into these two Big Questions:

Where do I really want to live?
What do I really want to do?

There's a lot that I can't control. That's a lesson I've learned a thousand times over. But what I can do is listen as kindly as possible when my heart speaks up.

I don't want to move away. And the thing I've loved the very most is being a postpartum doula. That's what I want~ to stay here where I'm so at home, and to be a postpartum doula all the time.

I decided to tell someone.

It seems that I told the right person, because all of a sudden everything starting falling into my lap. I wanted to be more involved in the birth/doula/new family scene and three days later I was offered a teaching spot with an awesome local organization. I wanted to go to a DONA postpartum doula certification workshop, but the closest one was in Chicago, so I e-mailed the teacher and asked if she'd like to come here. She responded half an hour later, saying "Sure!" I didn't have to talk anyone into anything. And that's just how it's been going.

It's been like magic.

So here I am, surrounded by opportunity and hosting a hearty colony of bronchitis bugs. Maybe one day life will stop surprising me so completely, but it sure hasn't happened yet.


joven said...
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Gareth said...

Some lessons we have to learn a thousand times over. It is what makes us human beans. I'm so pleased for you that the doors of opening have sprung into action to help your path. Big love and respect g