transitioning (again?)

It almost seems silly to say that I'm going through another transition~ it's sort of what I do. But I think this one is different...

Well, I DO.

It came out of that special brand of clarity that comes out of crisis, and I think there's something to it. Without getting too involved, I'll just say that a relationship came to a close and the current source of my salary was never meant to last forever. (And time really does pass quickly.) Once again, I had to decide: What Next?

I did some hemming. I did some hawing. I cried. I grumped. I created scenarios (including some really ridiculous ones) inside my head. And it all crystallized into these two Big Questions:

Where do I really want to live?
and
What do I really want to do?

There's a lot that I can't control. That's a lesson I've learned a thousand times over. But what I can do is listen as kindly as possible when my heart speaks up.

I don't want to move away. And the thing I've loved the very most is being a postpartum doula. That's what I want~ to stay here where I'm so at home, and to be a postpartum doula all the time.

I decided to tell someone.

It seems that I told the right person, because all of a sudden everything starting falling into my lap. I wanted to be more involved in the birth/doula/new family scene and three days later I was offered a teaching spot with an awesome local organization. I wanted to go to a DONA postpartum doula certification workshop, but the closest one was in Chicago, so I e-mailed the teacher and asked if she'd like to come here. She responded half an hour later, saying "Sure!" I didn't have to talk anyone into anything. And that's just how it's been going.

It's been like magic.

So here I am, surrounded by opportunity and hosting a hearty colony of bronchitis bugs. Maybe one day life will stop surprising me so completely, but it sure hasn't happened yet.