angel

I started going to the local UU about four years ago. My main distraction in life was, as usual, that I wanted to meet someone, but I decided that maybe what I really needed was something much bigger. So I decided to go to church. The least churchy church I could find.

For the longest time, I'd cry during every service. Something always got me right where it needed to, and I loved going and sitting alone and crying. And after a while, the crying pretty much stopped. It started to feel too political in there, and I'd find myself looking out the big, circular window in the front of the room, watching clouds and birds and planes pass by.

Every few weeks, the calendar and newsletter arrive in my mailbox, and I look to see what's scheduled, who's speaking, etc. Sometimes I'm intrigued and I make a point of showing up~ like this morning. Today the teenagers did the service. I couldn't miss that. And I'm glad I didn't.

They were so freaking cool and wise and funny and thoughtful and confident and humble and questioning and awesome. One of them, wearing a black hoodie and half-hiding behind the swoop of his bangs, led us in a meditation from Thich Nhat Hanh. As we started, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes...

And there was an angel there, just hanging out behind my eyelids.

You know how you see the negative silhouettes of things when you close your eyes? It was like that, but it was totally an angel. When I opened my eyes afterward, I tried to figure out what would have made that impression on my eyeballs, but the only part I could figure out was the head. But I don't even care! I don't want it to make perfect sense. I just want to hold that image for a while~