Thursday, August 13, 2009

some things must be said

The other day, I popped in to a popular blog that I read sometimes, and found that the most recent post had to do with "sleep training", which is essentially leaving a baby to cry itself to sleep.

I've heard all of the arguments for it, all of the justifications and rationalizations. I understand that sleep deprivation takes a serious toll on parents and that it can make you desperate and willing to try just about anything. I hear you.

However.

I cannot wrap my brain or my heart around the idea that parents who won't let their babies cry and scream alone in a crib until they finally give up and fall asleep are somehow weaker. How can the capacity to listen from the next room while your baby screams for you be considered a sign of strength?

The blogger I mentioned wrote that her baby stood in his crib, shaking the bars and screaming, for an hour and a half. And someone commented that she herself wasn't strong enough to do this with her own baby...

It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart for the babies, but also for the parents who are made to feel that if they were better or stronger, they would just let their babies cry. There are a number of books written by "experts" that promote this idea, and it makes me more than a little bit angry.

I'll leave it at that. I'm not trying to spark a debate~ I just want to support those mamas and papas who can't bring themselves to follow popular opinion in this arena. You are not weak for snuggling your babies to sleep.

5 comments:

cake said...

i could never use the 'cry it out' approach (never wanted to try), and i now enjoy a level of trust and closeness with my child that i believe was established in infancy. when he cried, i was always there for him. still am. i think the world would be a better place if more of us had been responded to when we cried.

Larry New said...

Hey Anna, I know this is off topic, but Happy Birthday!! :)

Take care,

--Larry

Nickname unavailable said...

Happy Birthday! I hope you can find the time to make a September post!

Anna said...

Happy birthday to you, too, Larry! :)

Larrygnu said...

Anna,

I found a great book at the library. It's called the Small Batch Baking Book. It's full of recipes for when you want to make dessert for just two people (or one chocoholic, such as myself).

Remember my little (nephew) bean? (I had pictures posted of him when he was sick...) He turned two yesterday. *sigh* They grow up so fast. Tomorrow, he's starting daycare (we're calling it school, so he can be like his older cousins).

Hope you are doing well. Update your blog sometimes. :)

--Larry