It's been an odd day. I decided to stay home and rest, hoping to fend off the microbial gremlins that were trying to colonize in the back of my throat. I'd had two DVDs from Netflix that had been sitting around for ages, and finally took the time to watch them~ one was a documentary about Howard Zinn. I've wanted to read one of his books in particular, A People's History of the United States, and this documentary thoroughly renewed my interest. What a remarkable man, working with absolute dignity to bring buried truths to light.
The problem, though, is that I get so overwhelmed. Instead of just being inspired and grateful, like I imagine most people would be, I end up feeling like I've been punched in the gut. I see the images of war and hear the stories of oppression and deceit and corruption, and I'm disgusted by the world. I question everything I'm doing and feel like I'm wasting my time, and when I go there-when I get so recklessly dismal inside- I really can't do anything help anyone, myself included.
I started looking at Peace Corps and Heifer International and other stuff online~ the video clips on the Heifer site are so amazing, you should take a look. I love that organization so hard. I also had a good conversation with my sweet friend and watched this little Elizabeth Gilbert video and tried to just get centered and let myself be inspired instead of guilt-ridden and despondent. Good grief.
I know that we all have different ways of walking through the world, different gifts and passions and capacities, and as long as we do our various stuff with mindfulness, compassion, generosity, and (gosh darn it) joy, each contribution adds value to the whole. I believe this. I do. I just have to be reminded again and again and again to apply this belief to my own self.
Breathe, sleep, nourish. Allow, accept, move forward. Practice, practice, practice.
4 comments:
Hey Anna,
For the most part, the world is a horrible place. It gives those of us trying to make the world a better place something to do. ;)
If you're interested in a local way to make things better, take a look at this
http://www.childsplaycharity.org/
If you click on the Indiana on the map, it will take you to the Amazon list for the Riley hospital for children up in Indy. Anything you purchase off the list will be sent to Riley, quite possibly causing some sick (and bored) child to smile and feel a bit better.
Try not to feel overwhelmed. Instead, count all the people in your life that you've had a positive impact on. I bet if you think about it, you'll see that you've been doing your part all along.
Take care,
--Larry the charitable philosopher.
hey anna,
my goodness. i'm the same exact way with those kinds of documentaries, movies, the news, you name it- and I always have been. i get so angry and upset. The images, statistics and harsh realities that they present realy seems to haunt me. now I run a non-profit in the states and an orphanage in Nepal. I live in Nepal most of the year. It's hard to be surrounded by so so much suffering and at the same time, be able to stay within myself and not lose the essence of who I really am. It's been a major lesson and challenge in my life. I guess the one thing that helps get me through it is to think about how I can't change the past. I'll never be able to erase what most of my kids have been through, I'll never be able to go back an time and erase the war, or the fact that they've lost their families. All I can do is LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! That's all any of us can do right? We just do what little things we can and keep our hope!
Larry, thank you for your encouragement. You're right~ I have done a lot and have impacted a lot of people, and will continue to do so! Not all of us can be Howard Zinns or Mother Teresas or MLKs. :)
Maggie, thank you for sharing your comisseration. :) And I'm so inspired by what you're doing! I'm curious to know more about the non-profit and the orphanage...
*Anna*
I can also really relate. I feel pretty overwhelmed about the world. For me, I have to let go and realize that humans may not make it - but I do believe the planet will. That's not a morose thought to me, but comforting. And I see signs of positive change each day.
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